#BlackLivesMatter

I seriously don’t know what’s going on. Why did this had to happen…Why is racism poisoning our hearts? Why are we diving deep down into the roots of race and gender? why are we being so mean to human beings? Aren’t Blacks human? Don’t they have a soul? Don’t they have the right to live?

Can’t we stand up and just say one word together; Enough. Enough. Enough.

Please, it’s enough. How much blood are you going to shed? How many people are you going to bury or hang alive? How many names will you write on the tombstones? how many poetry and songs will you sing?

Aren’t you tired? Aren’t you tired of holding those banners that have the words, Black Lives Matter all over? Aren’t you tired of yelling, screaming, running around under the heat and aren’t you exhausted to see no change?

Source: The Source Magazine

Blacks are humans too. Just like us, they are kind, merciful, generous, loving and caring then why do you distinguish them? why do you categorize them and label them as ‘others?’ why do you do this? Please, tell me, I need to know.

Even though I’m not a Black, I feel their pain. I feel their grief. I feel their tragic history crawling up to my heart and throat and choking me with sadness. Is this the world we’re living in? Is this what it means to be human? Then isn’t it better to die if all we get is abuse, discrimination, rascim, and comments that break and tear us apart.

When you look at Whites, what do you feel? Nothing.

But when you look at Blacks? Everything?

Isn’t this injustice? Isn’t this called biasness?

Black Lives Matter as much as every lives. You matter, you matter, you matter, George Floyd matters, Breonna Taylor matters, Ahmaud Arbery matters and those lives that are lost in the protests and before matter.

Let’s all become anti-racist so that we can make the world a better place. Is that too much to ask for? Can’t our hearts soften and become kind? Can’t we embrace each other’s ethnicity and background and forget about what our skin color is and just…just shake hands, kiss each other’s cheeks, bump our foreheads and smile?

Please, don’t make this a ‘dream’ but make it a ‘reality.’ Don’t say it’s impossible, say it’s possible and take action! Remember, to start a revolution you don’t need a large group, but one man/woman with a strong voice is enough.

Donate. Sign petitions and support the protests as much as you can.

Click here to know where you can donate your dollars.

#BlackLivesMatter
#GeorgeFloyd
#JusticeforGeorgeFloyd

 

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Why? | A Thought | Personal Article

I can’t believe how people can change so much…The people you think they are, aren’t actually showing their true selves to you. They talk behind your backs, they say abominable things, they just rip your apart from the face of the Earth but when they come face to face, they are all smiles and rainbows…

Why? why the two-face? why not say whatever it is to our faces? Why not just say that you don’t like us and that we should just go away. Why do you backbite about us? say the things that aren’t true or mix falsehood with the truth?

What did we do wrong? did we hurt you? did we tell you something that wasn’t appropriate? no…all we did was stay with you so that you could feel safe. so that you wouldn’t be alone and isolated in this sudden outbreak that’s keeping us locked up in our homes.

Why do you do this to us? we trusted you so much. we thought you were good, we thought you were the nicest person and we thought that you loved us…but in the end, you turned your backs on us. All of you.

All you care about is yourselves and money. you used to respect us but when we lost everything, you decided to just throw us off the cliff and look at us as dead animals; or even worse…

thought so many good things about you. I trusted you, loved you with all my heart, and now…I just feel like I can’t trust anyone right now. Why do I have to go through this? Why is God testing me like this? Why did you change? or were you like this from before but now, your true colors are showing?

All of you…Why? Just because we’re another religion? just because we have different beliefs? different God? Why…?

It hurts.

It hurts so much…

I know I shouldn’t and don’t want to be too personal in this blog but I can’t help it…I must write this so that I can feel better. So that people will know that there are no more good and Merciful people here. That all we have is ourselves, God, and the closest people such as your parents and siblings.

you can’t trust anyone blindly these days. they will talk to you nicely at first but you will never know what goes around behind the scenes…it’s dirty, it’s disdainful and it’s not right. it’s unfair.

after all that we’ve gone through together…this is how they pay us back. with harsh words…words that they don’t know that we know what they said.

I might feel better after publishing this…I might not. But at least I will know that some (if not many) will read this. I don’t know, maybe I’m just looking for some comfort, for some love…maybe I’m just looking for some help but in the end, I hope this article will reach you so that you can know my thoughts and feelings right now.

Thank you for reading.

Don’t worry, I am okay.

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Grandpa…I love you.

We all knew that he was going to live no more and yet, when he took his last breath, we all broke into tiny pieces. His memories flashed in my mind and his last smile to me was painted in front of me. It was just that afternoon that I talked to him and told him that I would come. All he could was give a big smile and nod. I thought I would get to see him, whisper my promises to him and serve him more. But just a few hours later, my Grandmother called.

I was filled with guilt and regret that I couldn’t fulfil his last wishes. I cried even more by just thinking about it. However, a piece of me felt a relief because he had suffered so much. So much pain he endured and yet, he never complained. He bore the pain all to himself and smiled. Smiled because he was just happy to see us. It was as though he would forget all his agony by just seeing us move around and laugh and crack jokes.

But what pained me to know was that, in the end, he suffered a little bit more. I wanted to go to him and feed him, talk to him and hug him but our Lord has His own plans and His plans are always Great. Perhaps I wouldn’t have survived if I saw him like that. Perhaps it was for the better that I was away for a while.

I realized that I didn’t do much for him. I didn’t…

Even though everyone is saying that I have done enough, I feel like I have not. I still want to do more for him…I still want to feed him, talk to him and see him laugh at our jokes.

Grandpa…I love you so much. I really love you and I’m sorry for everything…

I feel guilty because I have a feeling that I might have hurt him or caused him to hate me by doing something which he displeased. And no matter how many good memories of him I try to recall, it’s overlapping with his loneliness that he was living in. I guess that’s what pains me…to know that he lived the rest of his life on bed; unable to go to places that he dearly loved or meet the people he dearly cared for.

I keep telling myself that I’m probably overthinking all this stuff and that eventually, everyone has to die. But like I said, what makes me sad isn’t his death but his memories and his suffering.

I just want to hug him tightly and close my eyes and wish that none of what happened is true. But that’s going against God’s Will and with this thinking of mine, I don’t want to displease the Almighty. I don’t want to say or think that it was His fault that Grandpa died because God gives life to whom He wills and takes away the life of whom He wills of His slaves. It’s life and we must move on. Our Lord is Most Knowing of everything and I’m glad that Grandpa died because none of us could see him suffer anymore.

To Allah we belong and to Allah we return.

I pray that our Lord, the Most Merciful admits my Grandfather into Paradise and Forgives all his sins. And I pray that He forgives me as well for my mistakes and shortcomings and for the things I shouldn’t have said to my grandpa and for the wishes I haven’t fulfilled.

Ameen.

Everyone has given me the task to write the funeral speech for him and although I would be happy to, I’m afraid that I won’t be able to because this is the first time someone so close and beloved to me has died…I don’t even know how or what I’m feeling but I pray that I find a way to cope with my grievances and be a support to my Grandma, my brother who is closer to my grandfather than me and my remaining family members.

I hope I do a good job of writing that funeral speech…I also wouldn’t mind a little help so if you’re reading this post, can you help me? What do I write and how do I write…?

Grandpa…I know you can’t hear me or read this article but I love you, okay? I didn’t say it to you before but I don’t regret it because I showed you my love through serving you patiently. I hope you loved me too just as you loved my brother and I hope we meet again in Paradise.

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